Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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