How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
