if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
