I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize