Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
