I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
