It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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