He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
