That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
