I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
