K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
