At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
