so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
