The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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