You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That accounts for only three of the penises
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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