Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize