Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize