If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
