he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
