remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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