I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
