I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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