Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
