just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
