i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
