You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
