This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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