first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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