Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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