yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I checked into jail on foursquare
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
