We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
