Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
