in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
