in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
