Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
