no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
