when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
