I wanna bring you to show and tell
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
pray to the hookup gods
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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