I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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