yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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