Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
