so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
