i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
