this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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