You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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