I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
