so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
