i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I need to calm my uterus...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
