Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
