I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
People with herpes should wear stickers.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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