a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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