Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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