I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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