Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
