does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
