I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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