Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
