alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
