the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
