Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
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