Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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